Glad I'm up to your exacting standards. [ The uncertainty that made itself visible for a moment is gone, and his expression is amused. He takes another sip. ]
Fire away. Gonna turn that question back on you sooner or later, though, so watch out.
They're pretty high. [ For himself, maybe. For others when he's not meeting his own. It's complicated. But this is just a light hearted joke, and the real meat of the conversation is his next question. ]
Wardens all have to take some sort of deal. What's yours?
[ Right. He wondered if that would come up. He answers without conflict, because he's already thought about what to say. ]
Keeping a promise, helping someone outta trouble back home.
[ He wonders suddenly whether he's making it easier for Alan to get glimpses of him, by filling things in. His demeanour doesn't change, but the idea sits uncomfortably. ]
Ever thought about what you'd get? You can graduate into a deal of your own one day, if you feel like making a career out of it.
[ Another loop. Another spiral. An opportunity, yes, but there's weight to what Charlie's just said. Alan's eyes flick from one arbitrary place to the next, face pulling up into a half-frown. ]
I'm still trying to remember what it's like to talk to people, Charlie. I haven't thought that far.
[ God and christ, Charlie has been there. He decides to ask whether Alan plays cards. There's nothing that eases you back into existing around people without having to figure out what to say to them quite like cards.
My wife. She's-- [ In trouble isn't the right phrase. It's complicated. This whole thing is complicated. Alan glances at Charlie, decides to word it about as vague as he did, just for his own sanity.
His head is starting to hurt again. Fuck. ]
I just want to make sure she's safe. And home. I don't know if I could be a warden, but that's what it would be.
She's the best. I'm lucky she let me marry her. She's gorgeous and caring and funny, but she has this eye for things. Photography--she makes capturing an image and creating things effortless, but always maintains so much thought...
[ There's a lift of his face. Holy shit, it's an actual smile. ]
Sometimes I think she's the only one I actually listen to.
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Fire away. Gonna turn that question back on you sooner or later, though, so watch out.
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Wardens all have to take some sort of deal. What's yours?
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Keeping a promise, helping someone outta trouble back home.
[ He wonders suddenly whether he's making it easier for Alan to get glimpses of him, by filling things in. His demeanour doesn't change, but the idea sits uncomfortably. ]
Ever thought about what you'd get? You can graduate into a deal of your own one day, if you feel like making a career out of it.
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I'm still trying to remember what it's like to talk to people, Charlie. I haven't thought that far.
[ It's a good nonanswer. Although-- ]
Alice.
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After a few moments: ]
Alice?
[ Gently, an invitation to continue. ]
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His head is starting to hurt again. Fuck. ]
I just want to make sure she's safe. And home. I don't know if I could be a warden, but that's what it would be.
I miss her. [ This he has no problem admitting. ]
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[ Vague is okay. Charlie would like to steer this conversation onto some more positive ground in any case. ]
What's she like, Alice?
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She's the best. I'm lucky she let me marry her. She's gorgeous and caring and funny, but she has this eye for things. Photography--she makes capturing an image and creating things effortless, but always maintains so much thought...
[ There's a lift of his face. Holy shit, it's an actual smile. ]
Sometimes I think she's the only one I actually listen to.