"The stage is reacting to your desires," Nana muses. But that can't be right. They're not on a stage... are they?
Nana thinks to the Barge. A morality play with an ever changing cast of characters, actions and motives and choices made by their director. Of course they're on a stage. She never left.
Nana looks over to Alan and, as if she's totally used to all this, she asks, "How long can we stay in here?"
"Exactly. I'm writing the story." Different mediums, same results. Nana gets him on a level Alan finds both comforting and a little disturbing at times.
"It's--it's enough that we can wait for them to go away. I don't know about you, but I'd really like to keep looking for a way out. I'm done with this shit."
"Then let's keep looking," Nana says, with zero hesitation. "Because I don't want to deal with this as well. The sooner we get done with this, the better."
Alan straightens, thinks about one of those donuts, realizes he's never actually eaten any, and makes what's probably the correct decision of not trying.
"Has anyone told you you are scarily good with a sword?"
Nana can't help but give Alan a little smile as she muses,
"Nope! Not that many people know about it. The reason I'm good with a sword is because of the revue. You've gotta be good at fighting, you've gotta let your desires shine through if you want to win."
And Nana, who's looped time dozens of times by now, has won a lot.
"I don't think anybody would have known about it if things didn't get so weird. It's...not something that I was planning on telling people."
There's a lot of things she doesn't plan on telling people. Alan's the only person who knows about the revue and as far as Nana is concerned, it's going to stay that way. She doesn't want anybody to think too hard about her, to wonder why she's good with a sword. Maybe she can just...Nana doesn't know, find a way to explain it away.
Teenage high school cage match, now with katanas and time loops. He's well aware that his own experiences are odd, but Nana is truly taking the cake here. Alan genuinely doesn't known what to say for a few seconds, so he welcomes the small beat of silence that accompanies this.
"I'm glad you told me." He genuinely is. It means Nana trusts him, which means Nana trusts someone, even if it's the wrong person. Maybe one day he'll open up to her about some of the shit he's done, too, but he's aware of her age and would much rather not.
It's not being a hypocrite. It's justifiable. This time.
"Now I know who to go to if shit hits the fan. Come on--let's try to get out of here."
"Of course." Nana stretches slightly, rolling out her shoulders, before fixing her face into a calm stare. She's an actress. She's playing the part of someone who can keep Alan safe. She's got this.
Nana gives Alan a small little smile before admitting, "Daiba Nana is scared out of her mind right now. But a seasoned hero, a deadly assassin, someone used to all sorts of combat...they'd be able to face this."
It's just acting. This is all fake. The Barge is all fake. She's got to keep telling herself this otherwise she'll puke with fear.
Nana, he thinks, gets Alan more than anyone on the ship. And if she's doing it...
" 'I pushed forward in the darkness, not knowing where it would lead, but knowing where I had to go. Between Banana's battle prowess and the lamp Zane had given me, I was filled with confidence. We were a stage girl and the champion of light. I knew we could make it. We had to.' "
It sounds silly out loud and not on paper. But it does help. He raises the lamp, looks at Nana, nods, and takes the light out. The dark, dim hallway is back, but they're on the otherside of the fence with a clear way forward.
Nana's eyes light up a bit as she hears the narration. Because it does make sense. It makes a lot of sense, and it revitalizes Nana in a way she finds hard to explain.
She holds her sword, clenching it tighter, as she also narrates, " 'Banana's grip tightened on the sword as she followed me onwards. She took the way and I could see the confidence start to settle in her face. It was obvious my words were inspiring her.' "
He starts moving, the thrill of whatever that was rattling his bones in a very pleasant way. There's vulnerability in speaking this shit aloud, a strange sort of magic in and out of itself. He's king of inner narration, but to share that in a way that's not in a manuscript? He's surprised it went over well.
Then again, they know each other. Maybe not fully, but there's a strange level of understanding between them that Alan hasn't found anywhere else. He begins to move.
"I told you how I was trapped before this, right?"
"A bit," Nana answers, sword at the ready, keeping up with Alan's pace. She's scanning the area, focused on their surroundings, ready and willing to cut something down should it get in the way. She's got this. She can keep Alan safe.
"But I wouldn't mind hearing more details. I know I inevitably forgot something."
"I was stuck in something I thought was a loop. Like the one you created, sort of."
A left. Alan halts, thinking he's heard a name--a low growl, a scratching noise--but decides to continue forward, dropping his voice. Straight until he takes a right turn.
"I found out it was more of a spiral. Descending towards ascension, that sort of thing." That probably makes no sense. Alan quickly continues: "The main thing that pushed me forward was that I didn't want to be alone anymore."
"13 years is a very long time to be stuck in a loop, Banana."
It's phrased gently, quietly, but with the full knowledge that that's what the other wished for. For it to never end for her, to repeat it over, and over, and over.
It's only a long time to be stuck in a loop if you weren't the one who made the loop in the first place. Nana could easily see herself looping as long as she could.
"But you got out in the end. That's what matters the most, right?"
Did he get out? There's a possibility he's still there. There's a lot of things back home he doesn't know, not fully--he thinks he's there. He knows. Alice has told him, Saga has shot him.
He shakes his head. Another turn, and a familiar door--his own, a gray door with a familiar spiral painted on it--and his face brightens.
"I think this is it."
He doesn't actually answer Nana. Isn't sure of the answer himself. The exit is a welcome distraction.
Oh that is saying a lot of things without saying anything at all. Alan didn't get out. Or at least, Alan isn't sure he got out. It's different being stuck in a loop when you're aware of it.
Idly, Nana wonders what she can do to make sure he's out of it. Not much, probably. After all, she's an inmate. But Nana knows she'll know more about the loop that Alan's stuck in than anyone here. Something's got to be causing it. And if something's causing it, that cause can be broken. It can be shifted. If she figures out what it is, she can break it herself.
Alan's her friend. And Nana keeps her friends safe no matter what.
"I'll open the door," Nana says, with absolute confidence. "That way if something comes for us, I'll be able to react."
And she walks towards the door, hesitating for only the slightest moment, before pulling it open.
Nana opens it, a familiar writer's room greeting them: an attic. Artificial lights. A desk with a typewriter, a black board with a plot board and chalk writing covering it.
Nana lets out a sigh of relief as she spots Alan's cabin. Idly, she takes everything in, before turning back to Alan.
"I need to get back to my room. There's some things I've gotta take care of." She has a frog now and she is worried sick about it. "But...thanks. Thanks for helping me get out of that."
"Of course," Nana says, with a nod and a smile. She takes one last moment to look back at Alan, as if to make sure he's completely safe, before she turns to leave, closing the door behind her as she makes her way back to her room.
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Nana thinks to the Barge. A morality play with an ever changing cast of characters, actions and motives and choices made by their director. Of course they're on a stage. She never left.
Nana looks over to Alan and, as if she's totally used to all this, she asks, "How long can we stay in here?"
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"It's--it's enough that we can wait for them to go away. I don't know about you, but I'd really like to keep looking for a way out. I'm done with this shit."
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Alan straightens, thinks about one of those donuts, realizes he's never actually eaten any, and makes what's probably the correct decision of not trying.
"Has anyone told you you are scarily good with a sword?"
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"Nope! Not that many people know about it. The reason I'm good with a sword is because of the revue. You've gotta be good at fighting, you've gotta let your desires shine through if you want to win."
And Nana, who's looped time dozens of times by now, has won a lot.
"I don't think anybody would have known about it if things didn't get so weird. It's...not something that I was planning on telling people."
There's a lot of things she doesn't plan on telling people. Alan's the only person who knows about the revue and as far as Nana is concerned, it's going to stay that way. She doesn't want anybody to think too hard about her, to wonder why she's good with a sword. Maybe she can just...Nana doesn't know, find a way to explain it away.
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"I'm glad you told me." He genuinely is. It means Nana trusts him, which means Nana trusts someone, even if it's the wrong person. Maybe one day he'll open up to her about some of the shit he's done, too, but he's aware of her age and would much rather not.
It's not being a hypocrite. It's justifiable. This time.
"Now I know who to go to if shit hits the fan. Come on--let's try to get out of here."
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"Tell me what to do next and I'll lead the way."
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"You need your character's motivation?"
He's not teasing her. He's actually sort of serious.
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Nana gives Alan a small little smile before admitting, "Daiba Nana is scared out of her mind right now. But a seasoned hero, a deadly assassin, someone used to all sorts of combat...they'd be able to face this."
It's just acting. This is all fake. The Barge is all fake. She's got to keep telling herself this otherwise she'll puke with fear.
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" 'I pushed forward in the darkness, not knowing where it would lead, but knowing where I had to go. Between Banana's battle prowess and the lamp Zane had given me, I was filled with confidence. We were a stage girl and the champion of light. I knew we could make it. We had to.' "
It sounds silly out loud and not on paper. But it does help. He raises the lamp, looks at Nana, nods, and takes the light out. The dark, dim hallway is back, but they're on the otherside of the fence with a clear way forward.
He starts moving.
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She holds her sword, clenching it tighter, as she also narrates, " 'Banana's grip tightened on the sword as she followed me onwards. She took the way and I could see the confidence start to settle in her face. It was obvious my words were inspiring her.' "
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He starts moving, the thrill of whatever that was rattling his bones in a very pleasant way. There's vulnerability in speaking this shit aloud, a strange sort of magic in and out of itself. He's king of inner narration, but to share that in a way that's not in a manuscript? He's surprised it went over well.
Then again, they know each other. Maybe not fully, but there's a strange level of understanding between them that Alan hasn't found anywhere else. He begins to move.
"I told you how I was trapped before this, right?"
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"But I wouldn't mind hearing more details. I know I inevitably forgot something."
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A left. Alan halts, thinking he's heard a name--a low growl, a scratching noise--but decides to continue forward, dropping his voice. Straight until he takes a right turn.
"I found out it was more of a spiral. Descending towards ascension, that sort of thing." That probably makes no sense. Alan quickly continues: "The main thing that pushed me forward was that I didn't want to be alone anymore."
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Said with a hundred percent seriousness. Nana is petrified of just that, of solitude.
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It's phrased gently, quietly, but with the full knowledge that that's what the other wished for. For it to never end for her, to repeat it over, and over, and over.
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"But you got out in the end. That's what matters the most, right?"
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He shakes his head. Another turn, and a familiar door--his own, a gray door with a familiar spiral painted on it--and his face brightens.
"I think this is it."
He doesn't actually answer Nana. Isn't sure of the answer himself. The exit is a welcome distraction.
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Idly, Nana wonders what she can do to make sure he's out of it. Not much, probably. After all, she's an inmate. But Nana knows she'll know more about the loop that Alan's stuck in than anyone here. Something's got to be causing it. And if something's causing it, that cause can be broken. It can be shifted. If she figures out what it is, she can break it herself.
Alan's her friend. And Nana keeps her friends safe no matter what.
"I'll open the door," Nana says, with absolute confidence. "That way if something comes for us, I'll be able to react."
And she walks towards the door, hesitating for only the slightest moment, before pulling it open.
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Alan's cabin.
The writer breathes a sigh of relief.
"We're in the clear."
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"I need to get back to my room. There's some things I've gotta take care of." She has a frog now and she is worried sick about it. "But...thanks. Thanks for helping me get out of that."
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"You kidding? You saved me. You need anything, try to find me. We get stuck again, follow the light."
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