[ Matt's mostly recovered from his death toll, and he's had his time to sit in his self-pity and reflect on his poor decisions. He'll continue to make poor decisions, sure, but at least his frustration with Alan has subsided and he's willing to admit his own wrong in the situation.
Though maybe not in so many words.
He shrugs on a sweater and some shoes and makes his way across the hall, finding comfort in the way he can hear all the other things going on in the public areas of the Barge, the way he can smell the kitchen team prepping the next meal, the way he can acutely feel the softness of the lining on the sweater he's wearing. Not being so out of his depth anymore has gone a long way, too, to pulling him out of his self-imposed misery.
[ Alan's typing. He almost always is, his pace its' usual steady rhythm, punctuated by a new line. He could go back to his laptop, especially here, but he doesn't want to. Typewriters feel right.
He stops when he hears the knock, shifts in his chair when he hears its Matt. The hesitation is more confusion but he eventually rises, opening the door. Confusion gives way to stubborn spark of ranger almost immediately, jaw set. ]
[ Matt gets it. Alan has every right to be defensive. Matt hasn't spoken to him in ... What? Two weeks? He's not really sure. It's hard to follow the coming-and-going of time in a place where he doesn't have a distinct schedule, and where day time and night time also don't follow any usual rules.
Whatever. He's fine with taking the brunt of Alan's lingering frustrations. He deserves it.
Mostly he's distracted because for the first time he can really see Alan, in his way. He can smell the coffee Alan drank today on Alan's breath when he speaks. He can hear the distinct shift of the fabric of Alan's clothing. He can hear the annoyance not just in Alan's voice, but in his breath and in his heart rate. It's very hard for Matt to smile to himself. ]
[ Alan barely stifles a sigh--he swears to God Matt's smiling--and turns to look back at the half-written page. ]
I was.
[ But he's opening the door further, stepping out of the way. A silent invitation before he remembers, if not for the umpteenth time, that Matt can't see. ]
[ Alan stops mid-cross to the coffee machine, confusion and annoyance wrestling for control over stoic features, resulting in a very upturned frown and slightly narrowed eyes. ]
You're assuming I'm going to get into a fight.
[ Maybe. Matt's probably right. Alan's fairly certain his time swinging recklessly is done for the time being, considering he's calmed down a lot, but who knows with this fucking place and the bigger thing is that Alan is getting an alarming amount of mixed signals on top of the very large elephant in the room. Alan ditched Matt. Matt refused to leave. Whichever happened Alan flip-flops on frequently: but there's tension, and it's there, and both of them appear to be ignoring it. ]
[ He's not being defensive or argumentative about it. He says it quite plainly. That's just how he is, and he doesn't really think that sitting here and unpacking his history like Alan's some sort of therapist so they can figure out why is going to be beneficial to either of them. ]
[ He hears the teeth grinding. He hears the way Alan just accepts what Matt said, even if he doesn't necessarily want to. That's fine. Reluctant acceptance is better than none. ]
Try not to sound so excited.
[ The corner of Matt's mouth quirks up, and he turns to go towards the gym, pausing after taking a few steps. He doesn't need any help, not anymore, and even if he wasn't back to his regular self he's been to the gym so frequently it's second nature now.
But he does have appearances to keep up. ]
Sorry, I left my cane in my cabin. Do you mind - [ He trails off from asking if Alan can be his guide up there. ] - I'll just get it quickly.
[ His own personal shit aside, Alan really doesn't mind helping Matt out. If he wants to ignore what happened, then they'll ignore what happened. Sometimes it's better to stuff things down in a box and not deal with them, after all. He grabs the other's elbow lightly, opening the door as well, biting back the urge to say something very uncool like 'now you want help.'
See? Growth. He's not even questioning matt's general weird matt-ness.]
[ Matt's aware of his flaws. He's also aware that he can be charming enough to eventually smooth things over with people, and, sure, maybe he gets to cheat because he knows the emotional state of people and can manipulate his conversation to match that.
Hey, he's here as an inmate, right?
He's pretty sure he can get things back to basically-normal with Alan. ]
I was death tolling.
[ It's a blunt admission, but it's still his way of saying that he's aware he screwed up. ]
[ Because, hey, death isn't permanent here, and it's not like it's the first time either of them have died. They had to die to get here, after all. (And in Matt's more darker, more hidden secrets, it's not like he hasn't tried to die before, either.) ]
And before you say something, no, I didn't learn my lesson.
[ Alarmingly enough that does help a great deal. Matt's stubborn. Alan's stubborn. Alan thinks Matt is an idiot, and Matt knows that but doesn't care. That's fine. He can roll with it. It's not like he hates the other, either. ]
Jesse know how much of a dick you are?
[ Casual. Conversational. A sarcastic, snippy joke as he leads the other again. ]
I don't think anything you say to me right now will hold up in a court of law, so you're probably safe.
[ Alan's lack of response is pretty telling, though, so Matt's fairly pleased. He can also feel the anger seeping out Alan, less tension in the way Alan holds on to his elbow to guide him through the ship's halls. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
earlier in the month;
Though maybe not in so many words.
He shrugs on a sweater and some shoes and makes his way across the hall, finding comfort in the way he can hear all the other things going on in the public areas of the Barge, the way he can smell the kitchen team prepping the next meal, the way he can acutely feel the softness of the lining on the sweater he's wearing. Not being so out of his depth anymore has gone a long way, too, to pulling him out of his self-imposed misery.
Matt knocks on the door of Alan's cabin. ]
Alan? it's Matt.
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He stops when he hears the knock, shifts in his chair when he hears its Matt. The hesitation is more confusion but he eventually rises, opening the door. Confusion gives way to stubborn spark of ranger almost immediately, jaw set. ]
What?
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Whatever. He's fine with taking the brunt of Alan's lingering frustrations. He deserves it.
Mostly he's distracted because for the first time he can really see Alan, in his way. He can smell the coffee Alan drank today on Alan's breath when he speaks. He can hear the distinct shift of the fabric of Alan's clothing. He can hear the annoyance not just in Alan's voice, but in his breath and in his heart rate. It's very hard for Matt to smile to himself. ]
Are you busy?
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I was.
[ But he's opening the door further, stepping out of the way. A silent invitation before he remembers, if not for the umpteenth time, that Matt can't see. ]
Come in. Coffee?
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Actually, I was wondering if you were up to visiting the gym. I can teach you how to throw a punch so you're ready for the next fight you get in.
[ Since Alan seems to be averaging one fight per month. ]
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You're assuming I'm going to get into a fight.
[ Maybe. Matt's probably right. Alan's fairly certain his time swinging recklessly is done for the time being, considering he's calmed down a lot, but who knows with this fucking place and the bigger thing is that Alan is getting an alarming amount of mixed signals on top of the very large elephant in the room. Alan ditched Matt. Matt refused to leave. Whichever happened Alan flip-flops on frequently: but there's tension, and it's there, and both of them appear to be ignoring it. ]
Is this really why you're here?
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[ He leans against the doorframe of Alan's cabin, eyebrows raised a bit. ]
I thought it could be fun. If it's not your thing, I get it.
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[ He probably owes Alan just one thing. ]
What is it?
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You give me an explanation as to what the hell got into you the last time we talked.
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[ He's not being defensive or argumentative about it. He says it quite plainly. That's just how he is, and he doesn't really think that sitting here and unpacking his history like Alan's some sort of therapist so they can figure out why is going to be beneficial to either of them. ]
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Would he want someone to prod? Probably not. His shoulders lift slightly, shaking his head. ]
Fine. Let's go.
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Try not to sound so excited.
[ The corner of Matt's mouth quirks up, and he turns to go towards the gym, pausing after taking a few steps. He doesn't need any help, not anymore, and even if he wasn't back to his regular self he's been to the gym so frequently it's second nature now.
But he does have appearances to keep up. ]
Sorry, I left my cane in my cabin. Do you mind - [ He trails off from asking if Alan can be his guide up there. ] - I'll just get it quickly.
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[ His own personal shit aside, Alan really doesn't mind helping Matt out. If he wants to ignore what happened, then they'll ignore what happened. Sometimes it's better to stuff things down in a box and not deal with them, after all. He grabs the other's elbow lightly, opening the door as well, biting back the urge to say something very uncool like 'now you want help.'
See? Growth. He's not even questioning matt's general weird matt-ness.]
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Hey, he's here as an inmate, right?
He's pretty sure he can get things back to basically-normal with Alan. ]
I was death tolling.
[ It's a blunt admission, but it's still his way of saying that he's aware he screwed up. ]
That's why I haven't been around.
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What?!
[ He should have looked--he should have looked harder, stopped Matt, physically picked up the guy and started running to the exit-- ]
cw: brief mention of suicidal thoughts
[ Because, hey, death isn't permanent here, and it's not like it's the first time either of them have died. They had to die to get here, after all. (And in Matt's more darker, more hidden secrets, it's not like he hasn't tried to die before, either.) ]
And before you say something, no, I didn't learn my lesson.
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Jesse know how much of a dick you are?
[ Casual. Conversational. A sarcastic, snippy joke as he leads the other again. ]
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Yeah, I think she figured it out when I was a dick to her.
[ See, Alan, it's not just you! ]
I think she likes it, though.
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Yeah. Good: just banter. Like Corvo and John. ]
You've got a way with worming into people's hearts.
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[ Matt's smile gets a bit wider, more amused. It is banter, but it's blatant flirting, too, and he's listening for Alan's reaction. ]
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And is Matt hitting on him...? ]
Should I be divulging important information to a lawyer like this? Don't I have to go through my agent?
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[ Alan's lack of response is pretty telling, though, so Matt's fairly pleased. He can also feel the anger seeping out Alan, less tension in the way Alan holds on to his elbow to guide him through the ship's halls. ]
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[ He's continuing to lead them both. ]
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